Recognizing the Signs of an Emergency

Our family and friends recently descended on our parents’ house like a pack of swarming bees. Within a week, mom and dad were host to eleven adults, five dogs and one very spoiled grandson.  Between visits from Santa (who had to use a door vs. the roof), the cutthroat games of Scrabble and the amazing smells coming non-stop from the kitchen, we were fortunate to notice that something wasn’t right with dad.

Dad is the type of stubborn, stiff-upper lipped man that won’t admit there’s a problem until it’s too late.  He raised us the same way.  When we were kids, my sister was the pitcher for our softball team and was winning a big game.  Half-way through, someone threw a bad which bounced and broke off part of her front tooth.  Dad made her play out the rest of the game (which they won).  Thankfully, he’s mellowed in his old age and when he couldn’t catch his breath, he knew something was wrong.  Turns out, he was having a heart attack.

Dad’s symptoms we’re that severe.  He was short of breadth and not until he was walking in the hospital some time later did he feel any pain.  Thankfully, with calls to our aunt (who is a retired physician’s assistant and our go-to medical expert) and encouragement from mom, dad took some aspirin, left for the hospital and was able to walk in under his own power.  If mom hadn’t insisted that he leave when he did or he didn’t finally put down his guard and go, he most likely would have died.

Learn the Signs of a Heart Attack

According to the American Heart Association, heart attacks can have many symptoms including:

·     Chest discomfort –Most heart attacks involve discomfort in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes, or that goes away and comes back. It can feel like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain.   Most heart attacks involve discomfort in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes, or that goes away and comes back. It can feel like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain. 

·     Discomfort in other areas of the upper body – Symptoms can include pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or stomach. 

·     Shortness of breath – with or without chest discomfort.

·     Other signs – may include breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea or lightheadedness.

(Source:  American Heart Association)

Dial 9-1-1 Fast
Heart attack and stroke are life-and-death emergencies — every second counts. If you see or have any of the listed symptoms, immediately call 9-1-1 or your emergency response number. Not all these signs occur in every heart attack or stroke. Sometimes they go away and return. If some occur, get help fast! Today heart attack and stroke victims can benefit from new medications and treatments unavailable to patients in years past. For example, clot-busting drugs can stop some heart attacks and strokes in progress, reducing disability and saving lives. But to be effective, these drugs must be given relatively quickly after heart attack or stroke symptoms first appear. So again, don't delay — get help right away!

(AHA http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Conditions/911-Warnings-Signs-of-a-Heart-Attack_UCM_305346_SubHomePag

Know the signs and don’t hesitate to react.  Thankfully for us, it worked for our family as dad came through with flying colors.  While we started the new year off with him still in the hospital, he’s now back at home going to cardiac rehab and learning to love the taste of chicken breasts (ok, mostly).

How We Became Our Best Test Users

Over Christmas, Dad had a heart attack.  As with most emergencies, we didn’t know it was coming.  But, we were prepared.  Thankfully, we already were using Making Care Easier for our own family, so we knew where all his information was and mom was able to guide him through the admissions and examination processes easily.  Once we knew what we were dealing with, we put up a note to his care team and on Facebook alerting family and friends what was happening.  Facebook is great for sharing pictures of my nephew and general updates, but it’s not private enough to share health updates and not where daily tasks and appointments should be shared.
  
Through MCE, we were able to access his emergency information and keep everyone up-to-date.  I was able to jump on the MCE mobile app and alert everyone when he was going into surgery.  The hospital had free Wi-Fi, so I was able to grab my iPad and add new members to his team and alert everyone when we needed something.  When I got home, I went online to the MCE website to send group e-mails to his MCE care team and personal messages to the dozens of people who wanted to know how things were going.

Not only did I save time, but I was able to keep everyone updated throughout the process.  Plus, a few family friends asked to join his care team, which we gratefully accepted.  As a happy, unexpected result, I was able to rekindle friendships and get help from those I never would have considered asking prior to using MCE.  While we hadn’t used mom and dad’s MCE account on a daily basis, it was great to have when we needed it.
For us, it was more than just accessing information when we needed it and e-mailing out updates.  We were able to send out tasks, find products and share articles and other information.  Not only did we deal with the firestorm of questions, but we were able to mobilize our friends and family.  We were able to send out tasks like “Who’s going to bring Liam to the hospital to visit?” or product requests like “Dad needs shirts that button down the front”.  Even today, we continue to share articles and update his medicine charts as things change.  Best of all, we could track what was happening and people on our care team felt like they were doing things to help.
 
Thankfully for us, dad came through with flying colors.  While we started the new year off with him still in the hospital, he’s now back at home going to cardiac rehab and learning to love the taste of chicken breasts (ok, mostly). While we never wanted to be our best test users, we were glad MCE was there for us when we needed it.  We hope MCE can help your family as well.

Snow Shoveling!

Ahhh, if we get any more snow this year, I might just up and move to Florida, or maybe the Bahamas, or Jamaica.  Okay probably not, but I am very tired of shoveling.  In fact, our dog is the only one who likes the snow!

Our neighbors are wonderful people.  When we were out during the holidays for an overnight to Grandma’s, we came home to find our steps shoveled and our sidewalk free of snow.  To our great surprise, our neighbors had shoveled for us. It took us trips to three neighbors to find out which ones had shoveled and while doing this, we realized snow is an issue for a lot of elderly who still live at home.  We’re young and able to shovel and it wasn’t a problem for us, but it is for our Grandma, who relies on our Aunt or neighbors to help her.  It’s easy to forget that she needs help too when you’re knee-deep in snow trying to shovel your own car out to get to work the next day.

This time when it snowed, we were ready.  Before the last storm was going to hit, we added a task to Grandma’s Making Care Easier site to “Shovel Snow”.  This way we knew who was going to do it instead of us all calling each other, spending way too long planning and making way too elaborate plans instead of just getting it done.  If you have an elderly relative who you help care for, who lives at home, you might just want to put up “Shovel snow” on your page too.  There are more storms coming so save time and get people signed up now so you know who to turn to so you can avoid the multiple phone calls, complaints, and wasted time it used to take to organize the snow patrol.  Think of all the extra snow you can shovel yourself with all the time you save!  And, if you are lucky like us, you have a great group of people who can help like we do for our Grandma.

Not Enough Time in the Day

Ahhh, there is not enough time in the day. Ever thought that, or perhaps are living that over and over? I am. Not sure how to balance family, friends, money, and time. Me too. This is starting to sound like an infomercial for Making Care Easier, but even as a founder, I forget that I can use our tool to ask for help.

It isn’t easy to ask for help. And for some of you, I suspect you are in the same position – you don’t even have time to ask for help or maybe it is easier just to do it yourself. And that may be true in some situations. But, in emergency situations, having a network you can reach out to and the system you can use saves time and lots of headaches. Instead of sending 30 emails asking who can do this or that for mom or dad, you can use Making Care Easier and our phone app too to send out one note, get someone to sign up for doing it, and get the help you need.

The pain of setting up a care team isn’t nearly as bad as suffering the pain of having not. If you have friends who are living these situations every day like we do, please encourage them to use our app. It is free to use because we lived the need. From caring for a grandmother who is 91 (and picky if you read our blogs) to a father who just had a heart attack at Christmas, we live what we preach, even if we need a reminder every now and then too that asking for help is a good thing and we hope we made it easier!

Know What to Look for When Visiting Elderly Parents This Thanksgiving, Take Time for THANKS

As we gather together to give thanks this week, don’t miss the opportunity to check in on elderly loved ones. While phone calls throughout the year are important, seeing mom and dad in person can be the best way to assess physical and mental issues.

Give thanks this year by assessing how your mom and dad’s needs are being met:

·            T – Their health – Have there been any noticeable health changes since you last saw them? Are they taking their prescriptions and are they up-to-date? Be sure to ask them about recent doctor visits and make sure they are routinely visiting health care professionals.

·            H – Home – Perform a basic home assessment to see if their home is still meeting their needs. Pay special attention to the bathroom, kitchen and entryways.

·            A – Appearance – Have there been any physical changes that you weren’t aware of that should be discussed with their doctor? Has their mobility changed or have there been any drastic weight changes?

·            N – Nutrition – Are they eating regularly? Is there food in the cabinets or refrigerator and is it fresh?

·            K – Knowledgebase – Do you know where important papers (such as wills, medical directives, insurance papers) are kept? Do you know who to contact in an emergency if you can’t reach your parents? Do you know how bills are paid and if they are managing their finances?

·            S – Skills – Assess your parents’ mental and physical skills to see if they need additional help or if you need to make changes. Are dad’s reaction times good enough to keep him safe on the road? Is it time to consider bringing in someone to help with cleaning or laundry?

Talk to your friends and family while you are all together and approach caregiving as a team effort. If you don’t have time to discuss changes between the big meal and game, schedule a meeting online or on the phone to discuss your parents’ care and what changes need to be made.

Caring for your parents doesn’t just happen on holidays. Use the holidays to not only give thanks for all your blessings, but to see how you can help make sure your parents’ needs are being met.

What to Do If You Just Can’t Take Away Mom's Keys Yet

Driving is a rite of passage for many of us.  Unfortunately, not being able to drive any more due to age is also a rite of passage, but not a positive one.  According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, an average of 500 older adults are injured EVERY DAY and 15 are killed EVERY DAY due to driving accidents.   But, no matter who we have talked to, taking away the keys is one of the hardest transitions caregivers note having to make and most try to avoid it.

So, what can you do to help your driving parents stay safe until the keys must be taken away?  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggests:

• Exercising regularly to increase strength and flexibility.
• Asking your doctor or pharmacist to review medicines–both prescription and over-the counter–to reduce side effects and interactions.
• Having eyes checked by an eye doctor at least once a year. Wear glasses and corrective lenses as required.
• Driving during daylight and in good weather.  
• Finding the safest route with well-lit streets, intersections with left turn arrows, and easy parking.  
• Planning your route before you drive.
• Leaving a large following distance behind the car in front of you.
• Avoiding distractions in your car, such as listening to a loud radio, talking on your cell phone, texting, and eating.
• Considering potential alternatives to driving, such as riding with a friend or using public transit that you can use to get around.

While there is no guarantee these steps will avoid the “key discussion”, taking preventative measures now will increase your parents’ safety and hopefully reduce your fears just a bit.

Spending Too Much Time Together

by Renee Fry-Hawker

If you are the caregiver, it is sometimes hard to admit that you need time apart from the person you care for day in and day out.  You love them, you want them to have the best care possible, and you want to be there for the person for whom you care.

But, this often means that you get no private time.  There is no time for you to have thoughts for yourself, for you to run errands, or even to just take a walk.  Unfortunately, while you think you are doing good, this constant lack of attention for yourself may be hurting both you and your loved one.

When I had a brain tumor operation five years ago, my mother came out to live with me to care for me.  Without her help, I am not sure what I would have done.  I needed constant care and lived a thousand miles away from my parents and siblings.  My boyfriend, now my husband, thankfully had a full time job.  My mom dropped everything she had and moved out to Boston to help me so I could literally survive.

My mom learned to deliver my medicine for the nearly deadly infection I developed from the surgery, she learned how to clean my surgical dressings, and she dealt with a patient who knew too much and yet too little at the same time.  Day in and day out, my mom was there for me.  She would give daily reports to our family, our friends, and more.

I made my mom a deal that she could care for me only if she kept a positive attitude.  Given her nature and mine to be “okay, that is great, and let’s now prepare for the worst” type of people that is hard to do, especially when it is your thirty-six year old daughter for whom you have to care.  But, my mom did that day in and day out.  She was always cheery (I knew that wasn’t true but damn did she do a good job).

 
Her friends from our hometown would often call and ask how everything was going.  Only once did I get to hear the call.  Sitting outside on the porch by my bedroom, my mom was talking to her friends.  She explained all that was going on, the prognosis, the infections, and how hard it was.  I yelled from my room that she needed to stop proclaiming my imminent departure and go where I couldn’t hear her.  Okay, she wasn’t exactly killing me off, but it was hard to hear.

I realized later that the problem was that she had no one to share all of her feelings with on a regular basis.  She didn’t need a shrink, just her friends.  The people at the local deli still love my mom and thank God every time I walk in happy and healthy.  My mom befriended them when she would go to pick up lunch or sometimes just when she wanted nice people to talk to every now and then.  It was her mental outlet.

Today we stop by with my two year old son and say hello to the nice women who helped care for my mom.  We learned that while it is important for the person who needs care to have that care, the one giving that care often needs help too.  So, if you are a caregiver, take others up on their offers to give you time off and if there are no offers, tell your loved ones you need help.  And, if there is no one, look to on-line communities, daily prayer places or even your local deli.  Just make sure to do something for you!  I can promise you as the person being cared for, it made a world of difference to know my mom had people to care for her since I could not.