Snow Shoveling!

Ahhh, if we get any more snow this year, I might just up and move to Florida, or maybe the Bahamas, or Jamaica.  Okay probably not, but I am very tired of shoveling.  In fact, our dog is the only one who likes the snow!

Our neighbors are wonderful people.  When we were out during the holidays for an overnight to Grandma’s, we came home to find our steps shoveled and our sidewalk free of snow.  To our great surprise, our neighbors had shoveled for us. It took us trips to three neighbors to find out which ones had shoveled and while doing this, we realized snow is an issue for a lot of elderly who still live at home.  We’re young and able to shovel and it wasn’t a problem for us, but it is for our Grandma, who relies on our Aunt or neighbors to help her.  It’s easy to forget that she needs help too when you’re knee-deep in snow trying to shovel your own car out to get to work the next day.

This time when it snowed, we were ready.  Before the last storm was going to hit, we added a task to Grandma’s Making Care Easier site to “Shovel Snow”.  This way we knew who was going to do it instead of us all calling each other, spending way too long planning and making way too elaborate plans instead of just getting it done.  If you have an elderly relative who you help care for, who lives at home, you might just want to put up “Shovel snow” on your page too.  There are more storms coming so save time and get people signed up now so you know who to turn to so you can avoid the multiple phone calls, complaints, and wasted time it used to take to organize the snow patrol.  Think of all the extra snow you can shovel yourself with all the time you save!  And, if you are lucky like us, you have a great group of people who can help like we do for our Grandma.

Not Enough Time in the Day

Ahhh, there is not enough time in the day. Ever thought that, or perhaps are living that over and over? I am. Not sure how to balance family, friends, money, and time. Me too. This is starting to sound like an infomercial for Making Care Easier, but even as a founder, I forget that I can use our tool to ask for help.

It isn’t easy to ask for help. And for some of you, I suspect you are in the same position – you don’t even have time to ask for help or maybe it is easier just to do it yourself. And that may be true in some situations. But, in emergency situations, having a network you can reach out to and the system you can use saves time and lots of headaches. Instead of sending 30 emails asking who can do this or that for mom or dad, you can use Making Care Easier and our phone app too to send out one note, get someone to sign up for doing it, and get the help you need.

The pain of setting up a care team isn’t nearly as bad as suffering the pain of having not. If you have friends who are living these situations every day like we do, please encourage them to use our app. It is free to use because we lived the need. From caring for a grandmother who is 91 (and picky if you read our blogs) to a father who just had a heart attack at Christmas, we live what we preach, even if we need a reminder every now and then too that asking for help is a good thing and we hope we made it easier!

Know What to Look for When Visiting Elderly Parents This Thanksgiving, Take Time for THANKS

As we gather together to give thanks this week, don’t miss the opportunity to check in on elderly loved ones. While phone calls throughout the year are important, seeing mom and dad in person can be the best way to assess physical and mental issues.

Give thanks this year by assessing how your mom and dad’s needs are being met:

·            T – Their health – Have there been any noticeable health changes since you last saw them? Are they taking their prescriptions and are they up-to-date? Be sure to ask them about recent doctor visits and make sure they are routinely visiting health care professionals.

·            H – Home – Perform a basic home assessment to see if their home is still meeting their needs. Pay special attention to the bathroom, kitchen and entryways.

·            A – Appearance – Have there been any physical changes that you weren’t aware of that should be discussed with their doctor? Has their mobility changed or have there been any drastic weight changes?

·            N – Nutrition – Are they eating regularly? Is there food in the cabinets or refrigerator and is it fresh?

·            K – Knowledgebase – Do you know where important papers (such as wills, medical directives, insurance papers) are kept? Do you know who to contact in an emergency if you can’t reach your parents? Do you know how bills are paid and if they are managing their finances?

·            S – Skills – Assess your parents’ mental and physical skills to see if they need additional help or if you need to make changes. Are dad’s reaction times good enough to keep him safe on the road? Is it time to consider bringing in someone to help with cleaning or laundry?

Talk to your friends and family while you are all together and approach caregiving as a team effort. If you don’t have time to discuss changes between the big meal and game, schedule a meeting online or on the phone to discuss your parents’ care and what changes need to be made.

Caring for your parents doesn’t just happen on holidays. Use the holidays to not only give thanks for all your blessings, but to see how you can help make sure your parents’ needs are being met.

What to Do If You Just Can’t Take Away Mom's Keys Yet

Driving is a rite of passage for many of us.  Unfortunately, not being able to drive any more due to age is also a rite of passage, but not a positive one.  According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, an average of 500 older adults are injured EVERY DAY and 15 are killed EVERY DAY due to driving accidents.   But, no matter who we have talked to, taking away the keys is one of the hardest transitions caregivers note having to make and most try to avoid it.

So, what can you do to help your driving parents stay safe until the keys must be taken away?  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggests:

• Exercising regularly to increase strength and flexibility.
• Asking your doctor or pharmacist to review medicines–both prescription and over-the counter–to reduce side effects and interactions.
• Having eyes checked by an eye doctor at least once a year. Wear glasses and corrective lenses as required.
• Driving during daylight and in good weather.  
• Finding the safest route with well-lit streets, intersections with left turn arrows, and easy parking.  
• Planning your route before you drive.
• Leaving a large following distance behind the car in front of you.
• Avoiding distractions in your car, such as listening to a loud radio, talking on your cell phone, texting, and eating.
• Considering potential alternatives to driving, such as riding with a friend or using public transit that you can use to get around.

While there is no guarantee these steps will avoid the “key discussion”, taking preventative measures now will increase your parents’ safety and hopefully reduce your fears just a bit.

Spending Too Much Time Together

by Renee Fry-Hawker

If you are the caregiver, it is sometimes hard to admit that you need time apart from the person you care for day in and day out.  You love them, you want them to have the best care possible, and you want to be there for the person for whom you care.

But, this often means that you get no private time.  There is no time for you to have thoughts for yourself, for you to run errands, or even to just take a walk.  Unfortunately, while you think you are doing good, this constant lack of attention for yourself may be hurting both you and your loved one.

When I had a brain tumor operation five years ago, my mother came out to live with me to care for me.  Without her help, I am not sure what I would have done.  I needed constant care and lived a thousand miles away from my parents and siblings.  My boyfriend, now my husband, thankfully had a full time job.  My mom dropped everything she had and moved out to Boston to help me so I could literally survive.

My mom learned to deliver my medicine for the nearly deadly infection I developed from the surgery, she learned how to clean my surgical dressings, and she dealt with a patient who knew too much and yet too little at the same time.  Day in and day out, my mom was there for me.  She would give daily reports to our family, our friends, and more.

I made my mom a deal that she could care for me only if she kept a positive attitude.  Given her nature and mine to be “okay, that is great, and let’s now prepare for the worst” type of people that is hard to do, especially when it is your thirty-six year old daughter for whom you have to care.  But, my mom did that day in and day out.  She was always cheery (I knew that wasn’t true but damn did she do a good job).

 
Her friends from our hometown would often call and ask how everything was going.  Only once did I get to hear the call.  Sitting outside on the porch by my bedroom, my mom was talking to her friends.  She explained all that was going on, the prognosis, the infections, and how hard it was.  I yelled from my room that she needed to stop proclaiming my imminent departure and go where I couldn’t hear her.  Okay, she wasn’t exactly killing me off, but it was hard to hear.

I realized later that the problem was that she had no one to share all of her feelings with on a regular basis.  She didn’t need a shrink, just her friends.  The people at the local deli still love my mom and thank God every time I walk in happy and healthy.  My mom befriended them when she would go to pick up lunch or sometimes just when she wanted nice people to talk to every now and then.  It was her mental outlet.

Today we stop by with my two year old son and say hello to the nice women who helped care for my mom.  We learned that while it is important for the person who needs care to have that care, the one giving that care often needs help too.  So, if you are a caregiver, take others up on their offers to give you time off and if there are no offers, tell your loved ones you need help.  And, if there is no one, look to on-line communities, daily prayer places or even your local deli.  Just make sure to do something for you!  I can promise you as the person being cared for, it made a world of difference to know my mom had people to care for her since I could not.

Making Care Easier Launches Free Caregiving App

Caring for an aging parent can be a full time job.  But, when you already have a job this can be very challenging.  Making Care Easier is here to help. 

Instead of lots of phone calls, texts, emails and worrying when you don’t hear anything, keep all of your updates in one place, with emergency plans and more.

Being a caregiver is a full-time job and doesn’t just happen at home.  That’s why Making Care Easier is proud to announce the launch of the MCE Android and iPhone mobile apps. 

Whether you are at home, work or at an appointment or on the run, you need to keep up-to-date when you’re caring for an elderly parent or loved one. Now you can with MCE’s free mobile app.

The MCE app lets you be in constant contact with your care team - Send and receive care updates and messages, set up and manage tasks or find and share products and services that make caregiving easier. 

Enter info once and you’re done - All the information that you share on your phone is automatically added to MCE online and vise-versa.

Share the care – At the doctor’s and need to schedule someone to take mom to her next appointment?  Use the MCE app to set up a task and ask your care team to help out.

Mom needs new slippers? – Jump on your phone and send an alert to everyone in your care team.  It might just be one less thing that you have to do because everyone knows what she needs and has an opportunity to buy it for her.

Find out more – visit us online at https://www.makingcareeasier.com/mobile to learn more or to download the apps.

And, if you want to learn more about Making Care Easier or start a care team, please go to www.makingcareeasier.com.  Being Connected for Caring is just a click away.

Making Care Easier is continually improving the ways we help make caregiving easier for you and your family.  We have lots in store for the app, and we would love to hear from you to find out what you would like to see.  Please e-mail us your suggestions to Mobile@MakingCareEasier.com and stay tuned for more advancements!

What I’ve learned from fishing by Michael Fry

About ten years ago I joined a local fishing club. Nothing too crazy - just a bunch of people who love to fish. In particular, we fish bass tournaments. Nobody is going to get rich winning one of our tournaments, it’s more about friendships, sportsmanship, and fun. During one of our meetings, the topic of the P.V.A. tournament on Rend Lake was discussed. The Paralyzed Veterans of America to be more specific.

                As someone who really respects the sacrifices our veterans have made, I thought participating was a great way to give a little back. This tournament is different than a lot of others. There are two days of fishing. Each boat captain is paired with a disabled angler. Day one, the disabled angler fishes. Day two, you fish as a team.

                After nine years of fishing this tournament, I can still name every one of my partners, and remember each year like it was yesterday. Some could barely walk, some were completely paralyzed. Some were old, some were young. Bottom line is they all were there to fish.

                The P.V.A. bass tour has been around for quite a few years now. That experience shows before, during, and after the tournament. Volunteers help load/unload anglers from boats, park vehicles, setup/cleanup, etc… When dealing with multiple people, with different needs, it can get complicated. However, I’ve never seen a situation where they were not able to accommodate everyone.

                I’ve learned that the label “disabled” can be misleading. I fish a lot, and some of the guys I’ve fished with who are “disabled” have out fished me by quite a lot. I’ve learned that being paralyzed, sick, or injured doesn’t make the person. It just happens to be part of the person. I’ve fished with paralyzed doctors, physical therapists, retired military, electrical engineers, and even a fishing guide. These people didn’t want my sympathy because of their condition. All they wanted was to fish - of course most of them want to win also.

                Fishing the P.V.A. is one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had in my lifetime. I’ve met friends from around the country. I come from a family that has a long list of veterans, but I am not. I can’t begin to say how much I appreciate the sacrifices these men and women have made. For me, it is a little way I can give back. I encourage everyone to check out the Paralyzed Veterans of America. Their adaptive sports programs, their library. (Look at the pictures and see if you can find my smiling face after we won.) 

With Making Care Easier, every day we are hoping to make lives just a bit easier and more enjoyable.  I can only hope that we are as successful as the P.V.A. www.makingcareeasier.com